Longing for the High Places

I was talking with one of my bestest friends this afternoon and she was talking about her life our West, where mountains are many and great stretches of plain are few. The more she talked the more I desired to hop on a plane to Streamboat Springs, Colorado, my family's home away from home. I became nostaglic over this summer's trip where this is the sight rounding the bend as one drives down the Mt. Werner towards the town. :sigh:

Consider This

"Perhaps where you live you don't see a whole lot of poverty, so you're not directly confronted by the need to consider the poor. We can sometimes bring our definition of 'poor' to its lowest and absolute form, which in turn can affect how responsible or involved we feel we should be in bringing answers. When we start thinking about the poor as anyone who is less fortunate than ourselves, we'll never have difficulty finding people to consider."

-Brian Houston, Hillsong Church
Sydney, Australia

Decision of a Renaissance Woman

Halloween 2007

This is what happens when you don't speak up soon enough: you become the devil and your friend takes the angel costume.

Expectations

As I am sure it is with all humans, the notion of expectations has been one I've increasingly grappled with in growing older, particularly within relationship. My personal trend is toward high expectations of others and even higher expectations for myself. With each of life's hard knocks my expectations of other have lowered of others and with each new to-my-knees moment my expectations of myself have (slowly!) been lowering.

After a breakup with a boyfriend about a year ago, conversation with friends and family seemed to center around the concept of "no expectations". A concept which I have no acquaintance with and honestly, I don't think any of you do either, no matter how much pain life's thrown onto your shore. (I have met people who seem remarkably good at having no expectations but, as I've grown closer in my relationship with them, I've only found such to be a mask or a substantial denial.) Anyways...after reading one of Jason Upton's blog entries, I've begun to think the conversation of high expectation - low expectation - no expectation may not exactly be the terms with which God approaches the topic "expectation". So often I think we leave God out of our conversation about expectation. Without God any one take (high, low, or no) leads to hopelessness, I think.

I like the angle Upton takes to the topic...

"Tonight Samuel and I read the story of ‘Jacob and Esau making peace'. The verse that stuck out to me the most tonight is Genesis 33:10, where Jacob says to Esau "And what a relief to see your friendly smile. It is like seeing the face of God." Jacob was preparing to meet a very angry and bitter Esau, but instead was received with Love and forgiveness. I believe one of the practical ways God reveals himself to us is by countering our expectations with the "last thing we expect." Expectations are one of the ways we feel in control of what is going on around us, but also one of the great blinders over our eyes from seeing God. Sometimes it is a fearful experience when things don't turn out the way we plan. Other times (like with Jacob) it is a great relief when things don't turn out the way we plan. Either way, these are often the moments in life that we see the face of God most clearly.

Today I had an experience like this. I went to the U-haul store to pick up some boxes for my wife Rachel. The clerk at the register's name was Anton. As he was taking the money I owed, I noticed his two pinky fingers were bent inward. The only other person I know that has bent pinky fingers is my friend Brandon Hampton, and he says it helps him play the guitar. All of the sudden I sensed that I was to tell Anton that God had made his pinky's that way for the purpose of being a great guitar player and they were not a deformity. Let me just say that Anton was a very large African American man who did not look like he was having a great day to begin with. I was a little worried that he might think I was calling his fingers deformed and beat me right there at the u-haul store. I told him anyway. His face got real sober and he looked up at me and said "that is really strange, because I have been learning how to play the banjo." All of the sudden he got this HUGE smile on his face as if to say ‘I need to keep playing because playing the banjo is part of my destiny." Seeing Anton's smile was like seeing the face of God. I walked out of that U-haul store with the sense that I had been face to face with God.

None of this happened today because of my expectations. My circumstances today did not at all point toward seeing the face of God. God surprised me by letting me see and experience something I was not able to expect. God's nature seems to force humanity to expect nothing but surprises."

Changed Color But Not Yet Fallen

Far too often busyness has kept me from enjoying the fall season. It's busyness, I suppose, and the reality that in the midwest the period between 90 degree weather and snow flakes is so fleeting. If you were to take only a long nap you'd miss it! Too many times flakes have covered the ground before I've been able to fully appreciate the crispness of fall and the changing color of the leaves.

Stephanie and I were determined not to let this fall season slip by. We decided it was important enough even to skip our Sunday church service to take a fall roadtrip to Galena, IL - a quaint, historic town which lies on the boarder between Iowa and Illinois. Legend has it glaciers never formed over the area hence, the rolling hills and valleys which break the miles of flat plain.

Yesterday was a most ideal fall day. Few clouds in the sky. Crisp but not chilly. Sunny. Leaves had changed color but not yet fallen to the ground.

Galena sits up on a hill. Coble stones still line the streets and the people have preserved the homes of Ulysees S. Grant and Ronald Reagan. The first bank still stands and a river runs right in front of the town.



We also made a stop in Elizabeth, another small town just outside of Galena which prides itself on the Apple River Fort. The fort, which has only two huts and measures 50 feet by 70 feet, was home to 50-70 adults (nevermind their children) for several weeks in 1832 at the start of the American-Indian War. The fort was built in defense of the Indian group led by the famed chief Black Hawk - an immensely resourceful and civilized group justifiably enraged about loosing their home to Anglos bent on conquering and colonizing land further and further West.

Illinois state grant money has allowed for the fort to be recreated to its actual measurement. Stephanie and I visited on the last day of live history, a time when a cast of characters describes and lives out the fort's activity.





And finally, we were blessed with a picturesque drive home.

Clear Off The Road

The story behind how these pictures of St. Ignatius Cathedral and the Chicago skyline is short and dangerous. Simply, I took them while I was driving. I know you're now going to want me to call you whenever I plan on driving. I am worse than a 16 year-old with a new license. What can I say?!

But, while these pictures might now insight terror in you, each time I look at them I smile. I smile because I am living my little girl dream of being a young professional who plays on the weekends under the shadows of the skyskapers.

Jason Upton - Dear John (Born)

With contemplative beauty Upton brings hope into a world which carries so much hopelessness.